Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
