she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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