So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
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