My liver just broke up with me...
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
