I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
