can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
