Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
