i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
