just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
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