why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
