I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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