come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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