apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Randomize
