It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Randomize
