do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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