Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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