It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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