fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
