remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
