Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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