hell yes lets make some ravioli
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
