So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
