What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
