He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
