I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
