i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
