put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Randomize
