sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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