She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
