Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
