did you get engaged???
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
