I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
