I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
He better not be in your backpack
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize