I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
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