can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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