He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
