really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I got inside last night via doggy door
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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