i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Everything about him screamed your future.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
