It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
