if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I am naked and annoyed.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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