i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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