I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
