Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
