they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize