Dual....:-)
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
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