Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
