i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
