Betty ford says i'm here all night
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
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