i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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