6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
