I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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