The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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