I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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