If that was your dad, he is hot
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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