i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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