true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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