I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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