At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
