I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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