I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Well I just put wine in my tea
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
