Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
