You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
