I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
