Just took my morning after pill in the library
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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