i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Randomize
